By Cassidy Dover: "New Year's"

I hope everyone has been having a great holiday season!  For the past few years our holidays have been Ray gone for about 2 months, then he'll fly in for Christmas, our on the 26th and if we've been lucky he can come home for New Year's eve, but that was only one time.  Otherwise he'd leave and we'd see him again at the end of January for about  two weeks and off he'd go for the season.

Ray would be playing in areas of the world that he didn't really feel our family should come to so we'd always fly to his family for the holidays.   Sheridan and I would spend about two weeks there with them.  We'd always have fun, but to totally relax, well that didn't really happen.  It's not easy to go to your in laws, no matter how great of a relationship you have with them, when your spouse isn't there.  You're technically family yet your a guest and you can't totally be yourself.

This year we've been really blessed. Ray hasn't gone to winter ball.  This is the first time in literally five years.  Our trip to his family has been total family time.  It didn't look like it was going to go this way.  Ray had received calls to play winter ball from each country that plays.  They were offering him quite a bit of money to go and play. They wanted him to leave in mid-December and come home for the holidays, go back and come back in January.

Ray and I discussed the benefits and drawbacks of having him leave.  I'm a very conservative person financially.  It's tough for me to say, "They aren't offering you enough money to make it worth it for you to leave us."  I look at the money as a great security to have, especially when we don't know what our pay will look like in April, the next time we receive a paycheck.  It could be Ray's minor league salary.  If that's the case, having the extra income now will cushion things for us.

April's not easy.  Not only have we been without a paycheck from US baseball since September or October, but we also have to worry about taxes.  I'm not sure if everyone is aware, but a ballplayer must pay taxes in each state he plays ball in. During any one season that could be up to 13 states if you are between the minor leagues and the big leagues. The money is generally taken out of your paycheck.  However, you also must then pay the state of residence taxes in April, federal taxes in April, taxes on money you made in another country, and an accountant to draw up your income taxes because they are so confusing.

Taxes are on top of your normal monthly bills for that month.  In addition, April starts over the year for health care and deductibles in baseball.  April is a "money out" month for us.  So when a team calls in November or December and asks Ray to go play baseball for a month or six weeks and they will pay him for it, I have trouble not packing his bags and sending him on his way! 

However, this offseason, Sheridan and I were used to having Ray home with us.  We had allowed our minds and our hearts to believe that this would be the year he'd stay with us all offseason.  We had gotten comfortable with our daily routine that included dad! 

So the phone calls came.  Each time Ray decided it made more sense for him to stay home with us, to continue to work out and to get ready for the season at home, the teams would raise their offers.  I resigned to telling Ray it was his decision.  It may seem that Ray was deciding how much our family time was worth.  I admit, each time it looked like he was going to take an offer I was conflicted between understanding and being upset by his choice.  Why wouldn't he just stay home with us?  Then, Gratitude - that Ray cares enough for our family to leave us and go alone to another country so that we will have no need to worry financially in April.  He's willing to leave to provide for us even though he has loved being able to just be a dad and ahusband.

At the end of the day, thus far, Ray has committed emotionally to our family and to himself.  Ray decided to stay home with us.  We purchased airline tickets for the three of us, and came here to Ray's family.  We have had such a nice time!  Ray's family (my extended family) have enjoyed sitting around with Ray, playing playstation, Wii, dominoes, anything.  Sheridan has enjoyed time with her cousins and her aunts and uncles. She doesn't feel rushed to spend each second with her daddy because she's had him around for months and knows he'll be home with us after the trip.

I've been able to relax and enjoy myself.  I'm not finding myself frustrated at everyone for not realizing our family hasn't spent time together and that they must share Ray with us even though they haven't seen him in months, either.  We've done fun things together, too.  We've gone to the arcade, to the movies, to see Grandma at work, to the city to see the lights.  We've taken time to go see some of my friends and family here that generally get neglected during our annual trip because Sheridan and I don't know the area well enough to go out on our own.

Our family has been able to sit back and enjoy the holiday season with our family and friends.  It's really felt like we are "home for the holidays."  It is my hope that each of you has enjoyed your holidays as well.  I pray that you have been surrounded by those that you love, enjoying the time together with laughter and peace.

Happy New Year's!  May you all prosper in 2010!

Thanks for reading,
Cassidy