By Cassidy Dover: "Growing Up Baseball"

There are times when you realize you’re really an adult.  These times come out of the blue.  With the birth of a child you think, “Wow, I’m responsible for another life now!”  I remember holding Sheridan and feeling such immense love for her.  I looked at Ray and it seemed impossible that God could believe we could be trusted to supply this life with guidance and love to help her grow to be a good person.

Even at that moment, though, there are fourteen year olds who have babies.  Are they suddenly an adult?  With every time she gets hurt, runs off track, succeeds, it’s another reminder that we are the people who need to help her.  There’s not really anyone else there.  I mean, our parents, other family members and friends help out as well, but in the end, it’s us.

In the past few weeks, we have had other reminders as well.  Ray’s younger sister needed a co-signer on a loan.  She turned to us.  I was shocked that she thought Ray and I could do such a thing!  It seemed like such a short time ago that both of us were asking our parents for help.  Now here was someone who needed us to help her.  I was even more shocked that the loan company allowed us to do it; that they felt  Ray and I were a good risk and stable enough to be able to repay the loan should his sister not be able to do so. (Not that I have any doubt that she’s going to repay her loan.  She’s amazing.  She goes to school full time, works full time.  She’s so impressive to me.  At times she seems more responsible to me than Ray and I are.  Who knew?)

My nephews came to stay with Ray, Sheridan and me for a long weekend while my brother and sister-in-law went away.  Again, others entrusted us to care for their children - we really must be adults, right?  Not only did they leave them with us but we were able to return them the same way they came to us!

Then there are those occasions when I feel that I may be an adult but Ray, not so much.  For instance, earlier this season, Ray went out and bought himself an I-pad.  He has a laptop.  A nice laptop. However, the I-pad is the newest and flashiest thing out there and he NEEDED one!  Not only did he NEED one, but he failed to tell me about his purchase.  I opened the mail one day and there was a new credit card that said to call and activate it. The card was in Ray’s name.  Now I don’t let Ray open cards in his name (again, he’s not always a responsible adult).  So I was sure somehow his credit was compromised.  I quickly called Ray.  I said, “Do you know anything about this card?!”

“Um, yeah, I was going to tell you about that.  I opened it because it gave us one year no interest to pay off my I-Pad."

“Your what?!” I practically screamed into the phone.

“My I-Pad."  He tried to joke with me.  "You bought it for me as an early birthday present.  I love it!   I really do.  Thanks!”

“And you spent HOW much on this gift for yourself?” I asked him incredulously.

“Well once you got the actual I-Pad, the case, the protective cover, some other necessary accessories (which may I point out by definition cannot be necessary if they are accessories), the price sort of went up.  Oh, and the 3-G card. That’s going to save tons of money in hotel internet charges.  It’ll practically pay for the I-Pad itself” he tried to reason with me.

I really couldn’t do anything at that moment.  He had already bought the I-Pad.  He had it for the past 2-3 weeks.  But such a purchase really should be talked about between the two of us.  It’s not as if he’s making even the minimum big league salary this year - with each day he spends in the minor leagues his salary is prorated.  I put aside a portion of each paycheck for a rainy day.

I was so upset that he bought this for himself.  More upset he kept it from me for so long.  He made me feel like I had to parent him.  Sometimes I would love to be the irresponsible one between us.  I’d love to go out and just spend hundreds, close to a thousand dollars on something I don’t really need.  But I don’t.  Because, as I said, I’m now an adult.

I’ve also seen how we’re more grown up when I meet other wives when Ray gets called up or sent down or starts with a new team.  In the beginning, we were the young ones.  Then we were the same age.  There were always a few players older than we were.  These days I look around and I’m the old one.  We’re still hanging on.  We’re the “veterans” on hand.  I have more wrinkles and I cover more grays than some of these girls have had birthdays.

I’m proud in those situations that Ray is still playing.  It’s a status.  I remember when Ray was first in AAA, there was a couple who were younger than we are now.  I had thought, “Why would he still play baseball if at his age he’s not in the big leagues.”  Now we’re older and I think, “I’m so glad Ray can still play a game for a living.  There’s enough time for him to get a real job when this is all done.”

But you know what, life is moving on.  We’re adults now with our own child, with responsiblities - a mortgage, car payments, credit card bills, and others who depend on us to be there for them.  I guess I need to accept that we’re adults now.  “For Reals.”  To tell you the honest truth, it kind of feels good to be more grown up.  To be able to look back at the past 14 years and to have a perspective that we didn’t have before.  To really be able to appreciate our “semi-charmed life.”

I’ll take it.  Bring it - I’m ready to admit it.  I’m an adult.  Now does that mean I always have to feed Sheridan a meal with vegetables?  That’s something I just can’t seem to get right.

Thanks for reading,
Cassidy

Cassidy Dover has been a baseball wife for more than 10 years.  Her husband Ray, currently in the minor leagues, has spent part of 7 seaons in The Show.  Cassidy lives somewhere in America with her daughter Sheridan.  Right now, they're probably waiting for Ray to come home.