A Glove of Their Own: Filling Your Day With Rainbows!

That has got to be, um, how do I put it, the most wussy title I've ever used here at Jimmy Scott's High & Tight, a website full of violence and sex and gunplay and sports and hard drinking and fast women and mold wrestling (Jell-O wrestling with really old folks).  People who read this site have callouses on their hands and fire in their blood and blood on their hands.  Yeah, my readers kill (mostly bugs and ticks, but it's still killing) and mame and play hard and swear and cuss and work in fields or factories for 27 hours a day and come in expecting their woman to have slabs of slightly cooked meat - beef, not "white meat" - on a platter - not a "plate."  My readers have tough skin and weathered faces and have tattoos on their arms (not just those girlie tats near their butt cracks).  My readers don't have earrings, unless they're tough girls who ride Harleys without helmets.  Those who scan the words of Jimmy Scott's High & Tight belch and fart (sorry, have bubbles) and don't flush the toilet, no matter what the color.  Yeah, my readers live in mud houses and like it. 

But then they read A Glove of Their Own.  Ahh.  Soothing.  It's the spa treatment my readers don't get.  It's the sweet, lovely children's book about kids who don't have the equipment to play a game of baseball, until a sweet old man (we don't learn much about this man - war veteran?  just out of jail?  lonely grandpa?  government official?  eccentric nutjob?) gives the kids some equipment he had laying around his basement.  It's told in rhyme, which my readers never were exposed to because they're rough and tough and only grunt during coitus.  But then they are exposed to A Glove of Their Own.  The clouds over the heads begin to part.  The rain on their parade dissipates.  A rainbow appears.  They smile and their hearts being to soften.  They call the kids they haven't paid child support to in 7 years and say hello, I'm sending a check today.  They fill out the check and throw it in the mail.  Of course, the kid never gets it because my readers forget to put child support checks in envelopes.  The checks get wet and ripped at the bottom of one of the big, half-oval blue corner U.S. Mailboxes, never to be found again.

But my readers always mean well.  (That's their defense in court.)

Back to the rainbow.  After reading A Glove of Their Own, which you should BUY HERE, a rainbow will spread over your sky.  If you're reading this now, you are needlessly angry about something somebody did to you when you were 6.  Maybe you're this way because you didn't have baseball equipment.  Maybe, when you were 6, you were sweet and innocent with soft skin and a wide smile and a sunny disposition - until the day you and your pals went to play some ball at the school field.  And you realized you didn't have gloves or bats or even a ball.  You tried without that stuff, but when a rock takes a bad hop and lands you and the right side of your face in the hospital for a week, the sunny disposition turns pale.  Bitter.  The innocense is gone. 

You've been waiting, unconsciously, for a rainbow ever since.  It's here!  It's here!  Your obnoxiously ROY G BIV-colored rainbow flies over your head and that long-since recovered right side of your face.  Your read the book (yeah, you move your lips when you read, but who cares?) and look up.  The rainbow.  It's come for you.  It will follow you.  Your life is all better.  You have a fresh start.  A clean slate to begin again.  To make amends.  To do the right thing for others.  All because you BOUGHT HERE the great book A Glove of Their Own.  And you'll start to make amends right away; well almost right away.  First you have to do that 90 days in the county jail for not paying child support.  Please, use an envelope next time.