Rankenstein: A New MLB Game

Former 15-year MLB veteran catcher Brent Mayne had the pleasure of being interviewed my me recently.  We talked about important baseball stuff, like plays at the plate, meetings on the mound, steroids, keeping your concentration while on lousy teams, and Rankenstein.

Pardon me?

Pardon you what?  You mean lousy teams?  Well, if a team isn't that good, it's considered -

No, no.  What was the word you used?

Hold on, let me look back.  It takes me a second to rewind.  Hmm.  Oh, Rankenstein.  Is that your question?  What's Rankenstein?

Yeah.

Well, Rankenstein, if you must know, is a term I thought Brent had coined in the interview but I just misheard him.  He'd said Frankenstein. 

And?

What?  That's all.

You're not explaining what the hell Rankenstein is?

(Heavy sigh)  Fine.  Here's what we decided a Rankenstein is.  You know how Frankenstein was one man created from various men?  You know, this guy's body, this other guy's brain, someone else's bad hair...  Rankenstein is where you rank the body parts of various baseball players, throw them together, and make the perfect ballplayer.

Huh?

Stay with me.  Here's an example.  Let's say I wanted to make the perfect pitcher; the best pitcher of all time.  I'd play The MLB Rankenstein Game! (copyright 2009 Jimmy Scott & Brent Mayne Enterprises, Inc.)  I'd go ahead and do this:

1.  Greg Maddux's brain

2.  Cy Young's shoulder and arm

3.  Tom Seaver's legs

4.  Curt Schilling's passion

5.  Warren Spahn's durability

6.  Al Leiter's gift of gab (for media purposes)

7.  Roger Clemens's wife

See how to do it?  If you take the body parts of these guys in their primes, you'd have one helluva pitcher. 

Here's how to make the game even better.  Limit the eras of guys you can choose from, like you can only choose "Steroid Era" players or post-deadball-era players or players who ended their careers by hitting into a triple play (there's only one of those guys, so you're not really playing the game, but if there were a bunch of guys who did it, well, you'd have one sorry fella).

Make sense?

Yeah.

Want to take a stab at it?

Sure.

Okay.  Here's your turn.  From every Major League Baseball player of all time, create for me the perfect catcher.

Go on.  Let's see what kind of guy you come up with.  Chances are, you're gonna have a little bit of fun.  Just like Brent & me.  If you want to hear the genesis of this game, listen to our interview and scroll forward to about 54:00.  You'll hear the moment of creation.  And then, you'll know exactly how Rankenstein became a giant part of your life.