By Rene Taubensee: "The Other Side"

Last week, I wrote a column called Three Stages To An MLB Wife's Self-Actualization.  The purpose was to recount what one former MLB wife had written in a book called Home Games about her baseball marriage.  It was a very negative column about a very negative issue in baseball that no commissioner can fine, no Congress can legislate, and no union can negotiate: the failure of baseball marriages. 

But there's another side.

Rene Taubensee is the wife of ex-MLB catcher Eddie Taubensee.  Rene read my column and wanted that other side to get some positive press.  I invited Rene to share herfeelings and experiences.  The first part you will see below, written in her own words.  The second part you'll hear in September, when I make an in-depth interview available for you to hear and dissect.  Until then, you have Rene's poignant words and raw emotions.  There is another side to a baseball marriage, the side the keeps it going.  Here's how Rene sees it.

Dear Jimmy:

I read the article you wrote after reading the book Home Games and wanted to share the other side of things. Unfortunately for many pro sports marriages, temptation, lies, and adultery are the 1-2-3 knockout punch.  I even agree the phases of reality that these betrayed wives went through are still real in the game. It’s a sad truth that when you only see your husband for a few hours each day every other week, and that’s if you move up for the season.  You have to work extra hard just to stay connected and even keep caring about what’s going on in your marriage. The stats are awful (70% divorce rate during career, 80-85% after retiring) but I have many, many Baseball friends whose marriages have made it, starting with mine.

I’ve been happily married to Former MLB catcher Eddie Taubensee for almost 16 years now and the funny thing is I still have to watch as people give me the "denial" look when I say the words "happily married."  The assumption is that all athletes cheat, all athletes lie and all wives are in it for the money and don’t care.

I was kept in the lobby of a hotel on the road one time, even though my name was on the room, until the team’s traveling secretary confirmed me because the front desk clerk said, "How do I know you aren’t trying to catch your husband cheating with another woman by getting here early?"

Did you catch that? There was no doubt I was the wife, there were no questions of why a wife with 3 kids under 4 had to fly to the city by herself.  The question was should this guy let the wife bust her husband or not!!! It’s this weird culture of fame in sports that says these guys need to be left alone to do whatever they want or they won’t play well. Try being a faithful husband with everyone telling you it’s okay if you aren’t or that you’ll play better if you do!

My husband and I work very hard to have a good marriage. We both came from divorced families and wanted to change the story for our kids. We spent extra time doing fun things on days off and during spring training - not hard for me, but after catching for 6 hours in spring training it's not easy to try to smile and agree when your wife wants to go out for dinner and walk around Downtown Disney.

We made road trips for me a must. I chose to see the life as an adventure instead of an obstacle and ignored the hassle of pushing kids in double strollers, car seat slung over my shoulder, pulling a suitcase behind me. I choose not to resent knowing the clubbies loaded Eddie’s bag onto the plane as he sat having shrimp cocktail, sushi, or one of the many great snacks they get before take off on a chartered plane while I asked for an extra bag of peanuts. Eddie choose to go on dates with me or get up earlier than he wanted even though his body was dead tired so we could connect during a long busy season. Eddie chose to get ribbed by the guys about how much his wife traveled because, frankly, he liked having me there after the good and bad games.

Are you catching the key word here? Chose.  We chose. It’s that easy.

Did Eddie see the groupies hanging out in the team hotel hoping to meet a player?  Yes, but he chose not to go there. Did I get lonely when he was gone so much and feel the start of bitterness?  Yes, but I choose not to give in. We chose to surround ourselves with friends who valued their lives together over a fleeting moment in the spotlight. We chose to get advice from couples that had made it through the game before us and learned from their struggles and successes. We chose to be honest about our own failings and forgive the little things before they became big ones.

You know the funny thing about making wise choices? It makes you more focused. I used my time as a celebrity wife for helping others.  Eddie used the short time he knew he had to play to become more competitive and hard working each year. When a player realizes they have unconditional support at home, the pressure of the media is less magnified. When a wife realizes her husband unconditionally loves her, the weeks apart and the pressure from others to live a "normal" life are bearable.

You might think I’m one of those first stage wives, but I know the truth. I have a first-class husband who has made me and our family the most important thing in his life. Eddie knows he has a wife who thinks he’s a Hall of Fame husband and father because he chose to give it all on the field and leave it all at the field when the lights went out. It wasn’t always easy.  Trust me, there were some days we were still there when the lights went out.  But it was worth it!

Rene Taubensee is an Ambassador for the Pro Athletes Outreach, an organization set up to conduct Christ-centered programs and conferences to equip professional athletes, coaches and their families to make a positive impact in the world for Jesus Christ.  She is married for former Major League Baseball player Eddie Taubensee.  They have three children and reside in Florida.